First Mother’s Day

I really want to get back into the habit of blogging random thoughts, pictures, events, etc.  Facebook and instagram (@slugpug if you want to follow) are just so much quicker!  However I’ve been blogging in some form since 2001 so I think I need to keep going

We usually spend the Saturday of Mother’s Day weekend with my family to celebrate my mom and also celebrate my sister’s birthday, which always falls that weekend.   Before meeting up with them I went to Salon Di Marco to redeem the gift certificate Tyler gave me for my birthday.  I got a one hour massage and a pedicure (I swear the give the best pedicures!)  It was heavenly!  I also did a little shopping at my favorite store, Made.  I got my sister a gift card and a new key chain, earrings, and popcorn seasoning for myself.  Downtown Lawrence on a beautiful day is such a happy place for me!  I had time to grab a smoothie at Juice Stop, get my ring cleaned at Kizer Cummings, and browse the  adorable baby stuff at Blue Dandelion (I always drool over all the Zutano clothing they carry but I cannot afford).

We Skype’d with my brother and and his 4 (soon to be 5) kids and enjoyed steak and salmon and deviled eggs for dinner, yum.  Gretchen was not in the best of moods.  She’s definitely going through a phase where Mama and Daddy are the only people she really wants to hold her.  Hopefully that will pass soon.  We probably stayed out too late because she cried for about half of our walk around the lake and the entire ride home.  I think the sun was in her eyes and it pissed her off, of course she passed out about 5 minutes before we got home.

Sunday I got to sleep in a bit and Tyler brought me breakfast and chai from Panera and Starbucks.  Great start to the day!  Tyler went on his long Sunday run (he runs his first half marathon on June 1st) and then we went out to lunch, my pick.  We went to Salty Iguana and were seated next to friends and able to watch the first part of the Royals game (which we lost, damn Yankees).  The manager brought around $10 gift cards for all the moms, it was fantastic!

white cheese dip and a strawberry margarita, perfection!

My big Mother’s Day gift was a new tree for the backyard!  We’ve been discussing getting a tree for the last couple of years but couldn’t decide what kind, where we wanted to put it, or how we were going to get it home since we don’t have a truck.  We ended up buying a 3 foot pink dogwood tree and some boxwoods and azaleas for the front.  It took two trips but we got it all home and planted!  It has already bloomed for the year, can’t wait for next spring to see all the pink flowers.

now let’s just hope Toby doesn’t take to peeing on it daily…the nursery has a 2 year guarantee fortunately!

It was a lovely first Mother’s Day and beautiful out to boot.  Loved spending the day with my thoughtful husband and the sweet baby girl that made me a mama.

10 months

weight and other stats: nothing official this month but I’m sure she’s broken the 20lb mark

size: I pulled out all of her summer clothes which are 12 month and she’s able to fit in some of them but 9 month clothes still fit better.  Fun to have new outfits to put on her though!

sleeping:  Still one morning nap and 1-2 afternoon naps and the very rare evening nap though she’s mostly phased those out this last month.  She has started STTN more often, maybe 2-3 times a week.  If she wakes at night it’s just once to eat and she goes right back down. We introduced a lovey this last week, not sure what she thinks of it just yet but it does seem to help her go down more quietly and we’ve found her snuggling it a couple of times already.  It is very rare that we rock her to sleep anymore, just for the occasional nap when she’s fussy.

eating:  Her formula intake has dropped a bit and averages 20-30 oz most days, she is just so busy during the day getting her to stop and take a bottle is difficult.  The last couple of nights she’s been taking a couple of big bottles in the evening though.  We continue to do purees at lunch and dinner, her favorites have blueberry in them but really she likes them all.  She has mastered the pincher grab this month but still has problems getting the food into her mouth (puffs and cheerios).  She is showing a bit more interest in feeding herself and can now eat an entire mum mum.

likes: army crawling allllll over the place (and up stairs!), feeding the pugs, playing with anything that isn’t technically a toy, the song Baby-O, her stuffed grover, PUPPETS!, pulling her socks off, playing with her rubber duckies in the bath.

dislikes: being on the changing table, being sick (got her first cold this month and it was 2 very not fun weeks), grass, strangers (or really anyone that isn’t me, Tyler, or her daycare provider), pug fights, hats.

9 months

weight and other stats: 19.8 lbs (72nd percentile), 27.75 in long (56th percentile), 18.5 in head circumference (99th percentile!)

size: we are gradually packing up most of her 6 month size clothing.  She is still wearing 6-12 month size and now 9 month clothing (most of which is whale themed, whoops).

sleeping:  Gretchen typically takes one nap in the morning (3o-60 minutes) and a long one in the afternoon (90 minutes-2 hrs, today it was 2.5 hrs!)   She also ends up conking out for about 30 minutes in the evening a few days a week.  We’ve tried just putting her to bed early but she wakes up after 30 minutes ready to play, so for now we’re just following her cues and letting her take the weird after dinner nap!  She STTN most nights, although sometimes she wakes up to eat in the middle of the night if she didn’t get at least 30 oz during the day.  She is often so busy playing during the day that she won’t stop and eat.  We alternate who gets up with her.  Usually she just downs the bottle and goes right back down.

eating: Averages about 32 oz of formula a day.  She takes solids at lunch and dinner.  We mostly do pouches now, and won’t be using Gerber baby food going forward after learning about this.   She pretty much loves everything we have given her, though she still won’t eat straight peas.  We are encouraging her to feed herself but she hasn’t shown much interest.  We recently introduced mum mums and she will sometimes put one in her mouth and take a bite.  Then she hands it to one of the pugs!  She is great at picking up any food we offer her, but very rarely actually puts it in her mouth.  It will come in time I’m sure!

likes: pug toys!!! Her little people Noahs ark animals that I got at a consignment sale.  Pulling off her socks, scooting across the room (not quite crawling, but close!)  jumperoo, walks in her stroller (we took off the carseat adapter so she rides facing out now), watching the pugs play tug or fetch, music, sitting up and playing with her toys, talking (she will babble mamamamama and dadadadada).

dislikes: having toys (especially pug toys) taken from her.  Still hates peas.  Doesn’t like it when we try to get her to hold her own bottle, even though she’s perfectly capable.  She gets fussy and squirmy on the changing table, I don’t think she likes being on her back now that she knows how to get around on her tummy!

30 by 30

Last week was my 29th birthday and thinking about the year ahead I decided to make a list of things I hope to do/accomplish. We’ll see if I actually do it all but it will be fun to try! I’m going to make a 30 by 30 tab at the top of my blog and will update as the year goes on and a few of these things will definitely get their own blog post I’m sure!

 
30 by 30

successfully make pie crust from scratch
30th birthday girls trip
paint buffet for our kitchen
organize and finish painting our basement
kick my Dr. Pepper addiction
lose 30 lbs
try the belted cardigan look
update family Christmas albums
get 40 CEUs to renew my MSW license
try a new restaurant

read a parenting book
consign baby stuff at fall consignment sale
bake bread from scratch (conquering fear of yeast!)
go apple picking
paint the doors and trim in our family room
improved lab numbers in Jan 2014 physical
get a massage
learn and then teach Gretchen some baby signs
commit to an exercise routine
send 5 hand written notes to friends/family

create a gallery wall in the house, not sure which room yet
get more connected at church, maybe a moms group, small group, volunteer, something
find a new charity to donate to
start a new family tradition
have an “unplugged” weekend, no tv, cell phones, computers…yikes
do one of the many pinterest projects I have pinned
anchor all dangerous furniture in the house
organize a fun get together with my coworkers
stop using paper towels
plan a fun weekend getaway with the hubs to celebrate turning 30.

8 months

weight & other stats: next appointment is at 9 months, my best guess is that she’s about 17 lbs right now.

size: We packed up the last of her 3-6 month clothes and she is in 6 month, 6-12 month, and a few 9 month (mostly pants for the length).

sleep:  Gretchen has been waking up in the middle of the night a few nights a week for the last few weeks, I think it’s a growth spurt thing.  Sometimes she STTN, you just can’t predict.  She still only takes 2 naps at daycare but usually 3 at home.  One in the morning and two in the afternoon.  She naps longer if I let her nap on my chest or in the bed with me so sometimes if I’m in need of a good nap we go that route  Usually she naps in her crib though.  We are trying to phase out rocking her at nap time, usually if we keep her up til she is super tired she will fall asleep on her own.

eating:  Gretchen has 5 teeth now and more getting ready to make an appearance.  2 on the top and 3 on the bottom.  Despite her numerous teeth she shows no interest in feeding herself.  We offer her things and she will pick them up and hold them or squish them up but she never brings the food to her mouth.  We feed her a veggie puree at lunch and a fruit puree at dinner.  She LOVES the purees with blueberries in them and gobbled up prunes like it was chocolate pudding.  I think we’ll add solids at breakfast when she is 9 months old, maybe she’ll show more interest in finger foods at that point.  She still averages about 32 oz of formula a day, but there have been some days during a growth spurt where she ate 37oz up to 43oz!  Crazy!  She usually takes 5 oz at a time, sometimes 6 or 7 first thing in the morning if she STTN.  We are trying to teach her to hold her own bottle but it is hit or miss.  She is easily distracted (by the pugs!)

likes:  sitting and playing with toys.  She still falls over pretty often so we make sure the boppy is there to catch her.  She still loves her jumperoo and finally figured out how to actually jump in it.  She will play in there even when she’s tired (we’ve found her nodding off to sleep in it!)  The pugs bring her endless entertainment, she laughs and laughs when they play tug.  She loves rolling all over the place and pushes up on her arms and attempts to crawl, but still hasn’t figured out the mechanics of it.  Any day now!  She loves to grab whatever book we are reading and attempt to turn the pages (usually about 5 at a time!)

dislikes:  The car wash freaks her out and makes her cry.  Not being able to reach the toys she wants.  She is a really happy baby 99% of the time.

breastfeeding, my story: part 3

part one   part two

This part of my story was the hardest to write because I still have a lot of anger and frustration over some of the “helpful” advice I was given, but I really wanted to share those emotions even though they are still raw.  So maybe some well-meaning (or not) individuals might think a bit more before offering advice to a mom struggling with breastfeeding.  

Around 6 weeks I stopped going to the breastfeeding support group.  The weighed feedings were depressing and stressed me out.  The LCs leading the group offered me no advice that I hadn’t already read on Kelly Mom or in one of my online communities.  One mom in the weekly group was regularly pissing me off and making it a very hostile environment for several of us (many of us attending had premature babies with latch/supply issues).  She openly criticized those of us in the group that were supplementing with formula.  I wanted to reach across the table and bonk her over the head with my brest friend pillow.  The weeks she wasn’t there were decent and I had some great conversations with the other moms struggling with breastfeeding, but soon it was clear I dreaded the group and wasn’t getting anything from it but more frustration.

I was slowly reaching the acceptance stage by this point and was just breastfeeding Gretchen on demand and following up every feeding with a bottle.  She was gaining weight thanks to the formula and I was grateful.  I found a local moms group that was accepting of everyone;  those breastfeeding and those formula feeding, and started going every Friday.  It was so good to get out of the house and connect with other moms.

Around 12 weeks Gretchen started refusing the breast.  She was hitting a growth spurt and going on nursing strikes for 12-24 hours.  She was screaming at my breasts again, something she hadn’t done since the early days before my milk was in.  I knew it was time to wean and over the course of a few days we did.  Sudafed dried me up and just like that we were exclusively formula feeding.

I was so happy I had been able to breastfeed for 3 months when at one point I didn’t think I’d get past the first week, but I also wished our breastfeeding relationship hadn’t ended so soon.  I was disappointed that I didn’t have the “easy” and “natural” breastfeeding experience that so many books and friends had touted nursing could be.  I was frustrated that my body and my baby weren’t able to make that happen.

I knew going into it that breastfeeding could be difficult, but I was expecting difficulties such as  cluster feeding, cracked nipples, clogged ducts, and oversupply/engorgement (lol, as if).  I really had no idea how exhausting it could be and I certainly had no idea what kind of emotional toll it would take.

During those first three months of Gretchen’s life I got some really great advice and encouragement from friends and family.  I also got some horrible advice, was judged by other moms, and felt so much guilt and disappointment over how things were playing out.  I soaked in encouraging words like “every drop of breast milk you give her is a gift” and “it gets easier” (and it did get easier after about 6 weeks just like everyone said.  ”Don’t quit on a bad day” was probably the best advice I received.

some of the hurtful advice I was given when people learned I was struggling with my supply (assvice really):

• I needed to spend more time with my baby (24/7 wasn’t enough??)
• I needed to just stop formula feeding altogether and trust my body to produce milk (so starve my child in the meantime??)
• I needed to pray harder for God to increase my supply (what the…I still have no words, this is SO insulting and I heard it from multiple people.)

I didn’t respond to those comments.  I honestly could not think of a response that wasn’t “go !#@$ yourself” in many cases, so saying nothing was the better road.    I did de-friend a few individuals on Facebook during that time, they weren’t true friends anyway.  99% of people were supportive and encouraging and gave great advice, but there were a select few whose comments still bother me.  I never expected people to be so critical.

I remember the first time I went to Costco to stock up on formula with my stack of formula checks (many of which were given to me by amazing, non-judgmental friends that were fortunately able to EBF).  Gretchen was sleeping in her car seat in the cart and I had about 6 canisters of Similac stacked up in what little cart space was left.  My shoulders got stiff and I was giving the side eye to people around me as I hurried to the checkout.

You see, I remembered the story a friend had told me about being approached by a total stranger at the store when she was buying formula.  In front of her two small children, the middle-aged woman said something to the effect of “you know, breastfeeding really is best!” and then marched off.  I had all kinds of great little quips in my head, prepared for anyone to criticize how I feed my child.  Fortunately it didn’t come to that, but I still prepare things to say every time I buy formula, just in case!

Gretchen at 6 months.  Growing, thriving, and hitting all of her milestones like a champ.  Bottle fed and happy.  

I have one more post in the works about my breastfeeding experience, a review of Suzanne Barston’s book “Bottled Up: How the Way We Feed Babies Has Come to Define Motherhood, and Why It Shouldn’t.”  Her book and her blog helped me process my experience, expanded my understanding of the issues surrounding infant feeding in our society, and made me more compassionate towards myself and other moms.  I want to re-read it before blogging about it though, it’s worth a second read for sure!

Thanks again for reading my story and my ramblings.  I hope sharing my story was helpful to another mom struggling as I did.

7 months

weight & other stats: nothing official this month but I think she’s probably between 16-17lbs at this point.  Her next appointment with the doctor is at 9 months so I’ll have official stats again then.

size: Still fits some of her 3-6 stuff but is mostly into 6 months/6-12 size.  We retired a bunch of jammies this month that just weren’t long enough anymore.

sleep:  now that Gretchen is in daycare a couple of days a week her sleep schedule has changed some.  She takes only 2 naps a day at daycare but they are often 90 minutes to 2 hours long.  At home she still takes 3-4 short naps.  She typically refuses to nap after 4pm so her bedtime is moving back gradually, closer to 7:30 or 8.  We can typically put her down with her crib soother and white noise machine and she’ll fall asleep by herself.  Most nights she sleeps about 10 hours, with the occasional middle of the night waking for a bottle.

eating:  We switched over to Costco brand formula in January which saves us about $20 a month. The switch was seamless.  Gretchen eats about 32+ oz of formula a day (mostly 5 oz bottles but she takes a 6 oz one first thing in the morning so we moved up to the bigger size Tommee Tippee bottles).  We made a couple attemps at table food thinking we’d go straight to baby led weaning (brief synopsis of the method here) but Gretchen is not yet at the point where she tries to put things in her mouth.  So she just squished the food around on her tray and never put any in her mouth.  We decided to do purees until she has more interest in grabbing food and it’s gone really well.  She loves: pears, peaches, apples, bananas, green beans, squash, sweet potato, and carrots.  She will not eat peas unless we mix them in with something else.  Her top two teeth came in this month so she has 4 teeth now!

likes:  rolling around on the floor (she can now roll back to front).  She likes hanging out in her exersaucer and her jumperoo and has figured out how to manipulate the toys on them.  She really enjoys her kindermusik class and listening to music and playing with instruments at home.  Also loves splashing in her tub, talking (a lot of babababa dadadada yayayaya), playing in the ball pit at daycare, sitting up like a big girl, and she ADORES the pugs.

dislikes:  peas! She also doesn’t like it when we leave the room, I think it’s the beginning of some separation anxiety but it’s not really a consistent thing yet.  Also not a fan of teething (and neither are we!)